Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen: To Be Quite Frank I Want My Revenge

So I Saw This Movie High...
It was a Thursday night and I had nothing going. I got a call from a friend, for anonymity purposes I will call him Beckett, asking me if I wanted to go see Transformers 2. I did not want to go see this movie but I had nothing better to do. Beckett picked me up 20 minutes later, relaying information to me about what he had heard about the film. This would be the first time I heard about the racist twin robots. I was shocked to find out about this and soon eager to see how bad of a movie it would be. We arrived at my other friend, Brooks' house, we smoked and left. Arriving at the theater 10 minutes early which for us is quite the accomplishment. Buying both a ticket and a combo of popcorn and Dr. Pepper. I was prepared. We found the theater pretty empty, granted it was a Thursday at midnight but still for it's opening week this was shocking and somehow hopeful that this movie wouldn't do well. America would later prove me wrong by making it the highest grossing movie of 2009. I thought that this movie would at least please my high eyes, but Michael Bay managed to over-complicate the Transformers. There is so much detail on these robots that you can't see the big picture. From the opening moments I felt overwhelmed. Now it is fair to day that my friends and I are movie snobs, none-the-less we are geeks and pop culture junkies so I really wanted this movie to be good. It wasn't. Transformers 2 was 2 1/2 hours long which is far too long for a sober person let alone a high person. After 30 minutes I was squirming in my seat. As the movie progressed I quickly realized that this movie was awful. This realization did afford me one pleasure and that was the right to make fun of the movie. During one gratuitous chase seen a Decipticon smashed through a library. I quickly leaned over to Beckett and whispered, "Michael Bay hates books." The script itself was so bad and cheesy that you could add "that's what she said" to the end of every line and it made sense. This was something we took advantage of throughout the entire movie. My favorite was "Here Optimus take my parts." This movie was designed for cheap laughs, with robot testicals, John Turturro in a thong, which I most assuredly laughed at because I was high and because it was just so stupid. God I hated this movie! The entire plot was superfluous and could have been solved in 2 minutes had the characters actual been thinking. To be frank I wanted the Decepticons to win by the end so it would just be over. I have had bowel movements that were more entertaining to sit through. This was merely a vehicle to see Meghan Fox's boobs bounce in slow motion, this is one vehicle that didn't transform into anything else. Do you see what I did there I made a pun about how vehicles in the movie transform. I like my humor. Peace